The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

So I read somewhere that lady gaga is coming up with a perfume soon and she wants it to smell like blood and semen. (yawn) Don't be shocked. It has been done before. Yes ladies all is not fragrant and lovely in the world of perfumes.
Why you may ask do perfumers and designers come up with these gross compositions that would turn people off.? Well sometimes it's for the shock value alone, and sometimes just for the controversy and history these scents would create.
 Today we will look at some of these in  The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (twilight zone theme)


WARNING: If you get queasy or easily offended, or have just had a big meal stop reading right NOW... I will start off easy.


The first good controversial perfume I know about is Shalimar by Guerlain

google image

This was the bad girl perfume of the 20's. It was said that a lady didn't do three things: smoke, dance the tango and wear Shalimar ..

In the 30's came Tabu by Dana

google image

The forbidden fragrance Tabu was created in 1934, when Perfumer Jean Charles was asked to create a perfume  that a whore would wear. This perfume  created controversy due to it's carnal nature.I can imagine ladies reaching for their smelling salts at this news and fainting in fits of horror. Oh! The utter Shock! The sheer scandal  of it all! Tabu was inspired by the painting"The Kreutzer Sonata" by Rene Prinet with the slogan "The longest kiss in history''.

google images

As the years progressed the shock factor also increased. Now people don't really mind or get offended by intoxicating, heavy orientals, or smoking, or tango come to think of it. Hence comes the shock factor of introducing  animalistic notes.

Serge Lutens Musc kublai khan 

google image

Musc Kublai Khan was launched in 1998 and is supposed  to  smell like a Mongolian warrior. Perfume lovers all over the world have a love-hate relationship with it. Many find it too strong, with a smell of manure, public toilet, dirty body and sweaty horses. And for some, It is raw, sexual and animalic.

Sécrétions Magnifiques by etat libre d'orange

While I haven't had the displeasure of smelling this, Sécrétions Magnifiques by etat libre d'orange is supposed to smell like blood, sweat, sperm, saliva. It's enough to gross anyone out. Blood??! Is it a perfume that a serial killer would wear? If you are still curious to how it smells, below is a review by  http://baptismbyfragrance.blogspot.com .
 Secretions, Magnifiques. I guess the name itself says it all. Unless you find bodily secretions pleasurable to smell outside the bedroom, bathroom or emergency room, you might want to skip this fragrance experience.

First of all, what strikes me is the whimsical little penis exploding like a little fountain. Reminds me of those old Disney cartoons where Donald is bathing blissfully, or when the Big Bad Wolf realises he's in some serious hot water. Surely something this cute cant be all that bad, right?

On first application, I couldn't help myself, I blotted it on my wrist and sniffed it straight away before it even had a chance to dry. Nice, a bit of soft musk. Replacing the stopper on the tester, I then went in for a second sniff......and dear god, how I regretted doing that. Immediately, a brick formed in my throat, and my stomach contents were swirling.
If you have ever gutted a fresh fish and rubbed your nose in the innards, thats pretty much what this smells like. Raw, metallic, cold, salty, fleshy and bloody, with the tiniest undercurrent of floral accents straining to take the edge off this being completely and utterly repugnant. If you want to read the full review HERE is the link.

Black Orchid by Tom Ford. I have a mixed feeling about this one. I picked up a sample in a dutyfree and tested it on the plane. Its a mish mash of too many notes all trying to make themselves appear at once. And sometimes it's spicy with hints of very bitter dark chocolate. I'm still undecided.Where is the bad part in this?  Well, *hides face* Tom Ford told the perfumers that it should smell like a man's crotch. Now we  know Tom must know( cough cough) just how that smells.

 Has anyone puked yet? I warned you.
I saved the best worst for last. Are you ready for it? It's called... VULVA... lol I'm not kidding take a look;

check out the logo on the box Ewww! (google image)

Is this not the perviest pic?! I guess it's marketed to creeps who like stealing ladies undies (shudder).

VULVA PERFUME: A company called vivaeros Special Products has developed ascent they call Vulva. That's right, it's a "perfume" that smells like a woman,s privates, but is made for a man. The advertisement video  shows a sweaty personal trainer eyeing a woman's crotch as it hovers above the black curve of a stationery bike. After the woman leaves, the long-haired dude goes and inhales her womanly scent.It's pretty bizarre. But we wonder if all those panty fetishists out there are gonna be real happy (and a lot of young woman who make extra dough selling to these men will be out of a job)

(vulva article courtsey of basenots).

I hope I didn't gross you out too much. Just wanted to share some kinky stuff in the perfume industry. I have to go throw up now :)